( sounding) Hey, guys. Grant, now. If you’re single like me, you might have tough time cooking or grocery shopping without throwing away a ton of food. You might also have a Peter Pan Complex and the feeling that no one loves you because deep down, you don’t deserve it. Now are five tips-off tohelp with the first thing.( ringing) The first thing Irecommend for single people is to skip cooking all together. Get take out. It actually cuts down on the harrowing point of standing over a small burner alone. Um, Grant, I’m single but I like cooking. You’re lying to yourself. The only people who like cooking are the ones with someone to cook for. That ain’t you, Buster, and at this frequency, it might never be.( stopper sounding) Sometimes getting take out merely isn’t practical. On those lights, I like to call in the Navy. Captain Crunch and Captain Morgan. The breakfast cereal’s aninexpensive informant of carbs to replenish your gut but not your mind and alcohol will put you to sleep so you can stop feeling this acces. Now, physicians say alcohol’s a depressant but those knowitallsdon’t know real depression.They probably all have boys and mansions.( cork popping) From time to time, you gotta fire up theoven and make a lasagna, the way mama used to shape. It has all the carby goodness of cereal and it smells like childhood. Remember that flavor? Oh, God, you were sohappy then, weren’t you? You had so much better possible. You hadn’t disillusioned so many beings, most of all yourself. When you’re done, go ahead and leave thewhole pan in the subside. Who’s gonna help? Please. Somebody care.( stopper popping) I date. I do, I date a great deal. Enough anyway. It doesn’t work out and I tell myself it wasn’t the right being but I don’t know.Could it be that I don’t want someone who wants me because what kind of person would want me? Therapist. I can’t render a therapist. I have student loans. That’s another thing. Why would anyone appointment someone who’s so fucking ruin all the time? Why, would I foist myself on someone else? Ah, yeah. Don’t buy too much.( stopper popping)( chiming)( sounding)( sounding)( popping)( sounding)( upbeat instrumental music) Fuck.( heartbeat) Hey, it’s Grant from College Humor. Click now to subscribe to the channel. Click now for more amusing substance. Sorry, you guys. It feels like I’m out. Am I out?’ Cause I can like, I can see the top of the camera so it’s Is this better? Alright, it feels worse.Okay, thanks for watching ..