I love you, Corey La Barrie.

um I’ve tried I’ve tried filming this I don’t even know how many times I want to make sure everyone knows that I’m okay and and you know obviously I’m going through it but I I couldn’t find myself to hit record for the longest time this is my first time hitting record but every time I think about doing this I just break down and I don’t know what to say I’ve never felt like this in my entire life and everything is just so confusing right now and I feel like it’s gonna be confusing for a while and I don’t think that that’s something like this is is ever gonna feel right I don’t think I’m ever gonna know exactly how to act and as of now I’m just kind of I’m kinda have to concentrate on certain on certain things and and those things are just the the positive times he’s brought to me I don’t want to really talk about how I’m feeling right now because I can’t really put it into words my mind’s just uh it’s scrambled this is gonna be really hard for me to say but I felt like it’s important I want to get my thoughts out there and I want I want to be strong not only for you guys but for Corey’s family all his friends and his supporters and that’s what I that’s what I want to do this is that’s what’s motivating me to to feel good through all this so saying that I I don’t want to make this video about me at all I want to kind of just put my thoughts out there and then you know hopefully I’m hoping this makes just me feel better and I hope this makes a lot of people that are watching this feel better and that’s I feel like that’s all I could really do right now I do I don’t want to feel helpless anymore I’m just gonna scramble so I don’t know what I’m gonna say but I’m glad if you’re watching this I’m glad you’re listening and and obviously this is fuckin like the most devastating thing that’s ever happened and I want you to know that you’re you know the way you’re feeling is okay and I’m feeling I’m feeling the same way too and um I I know you remember the first time I met you you know we were hanging out with keen and Sam in San Clemente California and I was just visiting I wasn’t even living here yet and you came up to me and you’re like hey man I think I could get an Instagram shout out I was like fun fuck no give you this guy’s out and he was like no I was like oh my god dude and like ever since then like it’s just it’s just funny to me now cuz that’s just the type of kook like that’s just type of guy he was she didn’t really he was so raw and real he didn’t really care about what people thought about him he said what was on his mind and and and and that’s just it that happened nine years ago and and it’s crazy to think that now like we’re where we are now and how he’s turned into my best friend he has just turned into more than a friend he was just the type of guy to call a family and I know you’ve heard this from multiple people and it’s so great seeing it but there’s multiple stories of people saying Cory made them feel like they belonged and that he was never caught up in the LA scene and he was always real and he was always the life of the party and he always was so nice to anyone in everyone he didn’t care about your status he didn’t care about any of that bullshit and he just loved to have a good time and laugh and dude every second he got he you know always try to make a joke and try to make people laugh and some of them weren’t funny but you know this man is he’s a jokester dude he he always made me laugh man and he didn’t even have to try in his past couple days I you know I would I would just look at old videos and of him and in old pictures and stuff and not one was boring man like Cory probably I hope you know you were one of a kind you were unique you’re worth ethic was growing so strong and we were helping each other grow and dude so fucking hard I want everyone to know that day he was so excited for that day he set up a stream and he wanted a stream for his birthday and he wanted to be with you guys and he was there and I want everyone to know that what makes me feel really content and really really happy is that for the intro to his stream he wanted me to be there today and do this little dance still a little dance for his intro and you know he wanted to you know his household to be there with him and there was a time where I thought I wasn’t gonna make it I I was out filming for my channel and I texted him and I was like hey man I don’t I don’t think I’m gonna make it for your intro unfortunately and he texted back he’s like I you know what I’m never doing anything group I’m never doing anything for your vlogs again and although that was a joke obviously you know I thought I thought to myself and I was like you know I I need to be there for him you know that’s his birthday and he’s so excited about this stream and so I left where I was I was filming and I came back in time to be in the intro for him and just knowing that I was there for him really really makes me happy and he as you all know loved the stream he loved being with y’all and he had a great time he even to be devided he was like that everyone watch the stream you see the intro he was so happy about it this man has doing dance rehearsals 15 minutes prior to the beginning of the stream and and I just thought it was so funny man this man is so extra but god that’s what I loved about him bro that just makes me so content and I’m glad I was there for you buddy um I’m so happy that I was there and I’m happy I was there the entire night and I’m glad to know you had one of the most amazing nights of your life you were having such a good time you were so happy to turn 25 I’ve always thought of it as like a bad thing like you you went out on her birthday you know and as the days go on night I think of it as a blessing and that’s well that’s how I think of it you know you went out celebrating your life bro you know ah even on your final moments bro I don’t want to talk too much about that at all but everyone that was there my friends and the neighbors I want everyone to know that we were all there for him I firmly believe that God placed us there for a reason and Daniel and Daniel woman and he’ll save you put it in a good way he he said being there he always thought it was a curse and all the past couple days I’ve always you know I was thinking the same thing I wished I wasn’t there but as the days go on I am I’m so happy I was you know now I’m so happy it was there for you and I I hope I hope you felt my presence man there’s a reason we were all there and God knows that we’re strong enough to go through that and and come out stronger and I that’s what I believe so I want to thank you well thank you Cory you’ve changed my fucking life problem you’ve changed my life for the better room changed my life for the better I might not be the same person without you man we would always talk about you know he would always say like hey EJ you see am I in your top-five best friends and I would always be like nah but you’re in my top six but I know he knew and I know he knew that he was my number one he would always be down to do anything with me and that’s what I loved about Cory anything and everything man like we went do so much together and I am so memories and they man dude it’s just it’s never gonna be the same without you bro and I want everyone to know that by this happening we have to stay strong for Cory if he was looking down at me right now he’d be like man I’m fucking trying to get up pussy like like come on be strong for me you know and he was like you shouldn’t be crying man he shouldn’t be sobbing you should be celebrating my life and that’s what we should’ve been doing we should be celebrating Cory’s life we should all live a little like Cory and he was always the guy that was more of an oh well guy than a what if guy and he always taught me how to live life like it was my last and this is just like this is his legacy man like I want everyone that know that that what Cory is doing to us right now is just building us up and making us stronger as people that was a memorial fund that Cory’s cousin actually has put up and within a day they hit their goal of a hundred and fifty thousand dollars and I want to give a massive massive thank you and my appreciation towards everyone that shared the link everyone that donated even fellow creators I want to tell you guys thank you and I see it and I there’s not enough appreciation I could give to tell you how much I am just like overwhelmed with the love that he’s receiving and I’m so glad that you guys were a part of Corey’s life and I have the pleasure of talking to his dad right now during this time and I want to say he is one strong man he is working towards a lot of things for Cory right now and I don’t want to speak on behalf of his plans but he is going to build the best memorial for his son and he deserves it man he deserves the best Memorial and through your your guys donations we are gonna we’re gonna do that as a as a family and it’s gonna be amazing and Cory is gonna be widely known for who he was and it’s gonna be beautiful and I can’t wait one thing I do want to end it on is uh there’s a clip of him singing beautiful soul by Jesse McCartney and that was I would like to believe that was our song because he knew he knew all the lyrics and I knew all the lyrics and we that was a time where we’re doing karaoke a at a bar and everything we were singing it together and and I just fucking love this clip man and I hold it dear to my heart and I want to play it at the end of this before I end this video I want to say that Cory is with us he sees everything he is seeing everything there’s so many signs that I see and I feel like my world right now is so much quieter and I I feel him with me and there’s just certain signs that I look around and see and I’m like wow he’s trying to say that he’s here with us man I firmly believe it so all the love and support you guys are giving that’s not stop that’s not stop I want to tell you guys that I’m gonna leave the link to his Memorial Fund in the description below we’re not done yet I know we hit our goal but I don’t want his family worrying about anything everything surrounding this is gonna cost so much money and I want I want to make sure that we’re there for them and we have so many plans to keep his name alive and nothing will be the same but I I want I want his name to be remembered I don’t want my friend forgotten what Corey’s name do remembered forever and we’re gonna do that we’re gonna do that for him and Cory a brother I know you’re watching I love you bro I fucking love you dude I know you knew that I know you knew that your brand was underappreciated but bro you you know you’re you’re forever appreciate it in our hearts bro you’re forever appreciate it I don’t know what’s that I love you Cory I miss you bro what my favorite all-time song ever growing up is right and if you’re new here this is my all-time favorite song and I Jay add to this shit at least once once a week okay guys I Jam to this song once a week are you guys ready [Music] [Music]